Family Matters

I did a lot of thinking about family this past weekend. A no, not about the Winslows... sorry for the misleading title.

For starters, I spent the weekend in the great state of Wisconsin with my family. I traveled up there with my brother, sister-in-law and fiancé for a high school friend’s wedding. Spending time with my parents in Wisconsin is always different than when they come to visit us in Indianapolis. I think this is mostly because my brother and I always have eight million things we want them to help us with once they are here. My dad is Mr. Handyman, and has the drive of the Energize bunny, so we have him working on house projects with us all weekend.

Besides that, though, it’s just different being home – being in the place where you grew up. There is a greater sense of family there. No matter how many years I’m removed from my life in Waupun, there will always be a certain feeling I find there that can’t be found anywhere else. I don’t wish I was still there, but I do like going back and being there from time to time.

Along with the trip came the challenge of seeing my grandmother, the matriarch of the family, ailing from severe back pain. To see a family member in state of pain is a hard pill to swallow. I know, and fully accept, that with age comes health issues but it’s not easy being face-to-face with it.

On Saturday morning I had breakfast with a different friend from high school. He was a close friend, but at least two years had elapsed since we had last seen each other. At breakfast I learned, from the size of his wife’s belly, that there was a bun in the oven. To think of anyone you were friends with in high school, unless they were unusually paternal in their high school years, is a funny thought. I, of course, remember all of the crazy and fun things we did together, but it also opened my eyes to the way life is changing in a hurry.

On Saturday evening the wedding was the seventh of eight weddings Laura and I will attend this summer. This was, again, a constant reminder of how much life is changing for us and all of our friends. With my own wedding only nine months away, the mid-20’s wedding train is moving full speed ahead. This wedding was unique though, and brought about some new thoughts. The bride has gone/will undergo some major life changes all in a short period of time. She met a guy from Germany at a work event in late 2007. Since then she has fallen in love, become engaged, lost her job, gotten married and will soon move to Germany and start a new job. Mind you, she does not even speak fluent German yet, although that will come in a hurry when she is immersed. She will leave all she knows, all her friends and family, behind to start a new family, a new life, in a new country. I cannot imagine dealing with all of that at once, but she seems genuinely happy and I’m happy for her.

I also read a book, “There Are No Children Here,” that follows a family growing up in a Chicago project in the late 80’s. The mother faces an impossible task, and the family is so very different that anything I can relate to. I guess that’s what kept my eyes glued to the pages. That book threw a range of emotions my way.

The underlying factor in all of this, family, is so critical to everyone’s lives. Even in the absence of it, family plays a huge role in people’s lives. I’m thankful for the family I’ve been blessed with, and hope to look at the branches of the family tree that have sprouted below me some day with a feeling of pride, and the knowledge that I have left a positive mark on the world.

A Means to a Beginning

Wedding planning is a funny thing. Some people choose to go big, some small, some elope, others welcome the opportunity to gather family and friends.

No matter how you choose to enter matrimony, though, the one constant is money. I knew going in that weddings cost, but until you’ve worked on planning one, you can’t appreciate just how much.

The big costs are easy to indentify, dress, flowers, music, food, drink, etc... But there are so many more small costs you forget to take into consideration. I’m lucky enough to have fantastic support family and future family, but I can’t imagine not having that. For me, the most important aspect of the day, besides getting to say I do to the best person I’ve ever met, is getting to share it with my family and friends and that requires money.

As I pondered that thought, I began to wonder whether there are people actually postponing their weddings due to the economy. What if the future bride or groom, or brides parents lost their jobs? Or, what if there wasn’t a lot of money to start with and now there’s just not enough to pay for even the basics of a wedding.

The economy is starting to affect aspects of life I never would have imagined in a million years, and the longer it goes on, the more parts of our lives it will affect. I saw an idea a journalist was working on that revolved around finding couples who were planning to have a baby but holding back due to the economy. I can’t imagine planning to start a family and then deciding to hold off. That has to be a major downer, because that’s just an exciting time in life.

I know there are too many effects of what’s happening right now to even begin to explore, and I’m way off topic from where I started, but I sure do hope we start to see some positive economic signals by the end of the year.